Void Voices is out with Hesterglock Press on Monday 15th October.
Void Voices is a nightmare in 34 parts.
Void Voices is a fly-blown cacophony.
Void Voices is a love letter from a cyborg.
Void Voices is a nasty feast.
Void Voices is salt on a slug,
Void Voices is a black and red machine that overwrites your memories.
Void Voices is a dumping ground for defective literary devices and other amusements.
Void Voices is a white silhouette on a white background.
Void Voices is a thorn in your eye.
Void Voices is a communion with an undead poet.
Void Voices is a symphony for violins, down-tuned electric guitars, broken synthesisers and wolves.
Void Voices is a glitch in Donald Trump’s face.
Void Voices is an advert for the life you already lead.
Void Voices is a flooded utopia.
Void Voices is a song inside a song.
Void Voices is the Bird King’s doppelgänger.
Void Voices is damp laughter.
Void Voices is #EndTimesPizza
Brexit Fable 1
Mr Cthulhu: Who here wants tentacles? Much better than human limbs.
Sleepwalkers: We do! Gimme tentacles!
Mr Cthulhu eviscerates them
Sleepwalkers: WTF! Our guts are hanging out!
Mr Cthulhu: Nah, that’s tentacles.
Sleepwalkers die in agony
Brexit Fable 2
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Passenger: Paradise, mate.
Driver: This YouTube video shows that Paradise is actually Hell. Stay put?
Passenger: Just take me to Paradise.
Driver: But you’ll burn forever.
Passenger: DON’T CARE. TAKE ME TO PARADISE!
Brexit Fable 3
Mr Phuq: Let’s build a house together! I’ve got enough bricks for a wall.
The people: Yes, let’s!
Mr Phuq: I feel stifled by this house you’ve subjected me to. I’m off.
Mr Phuq removes his wall & uses the bricks to build himself a kennel.
Brexit Fable 4
The Bird King: You should stab yourself in the face with these scissors.
The Bird King: To show the “experts” who’s boss! The experts who tell you that stabbing yourself in the face with these scissors will harm you. Be a man!
Bloke: Oh, Ok then.
Brexit Fable 5
Goat Man: Yay! Let’s eat this beef. ALL OF IT!
Sheep Boy: Ok. Hang on, it looks kinda rank. Is it supposed to be green? Also, it stinks.
Goat Man: We said we’d eat it, so we’ll eat it.
Sheep Boy: OK.
They devour the rotten meat and die in agony.
Brexit Fable 6
Maggot: We must push our planet out of the sun’s orbit if we are to free ourselves of its bureaucratic, unelected tyranny!
Masses: YES! Deep Space, not Deep State!
One: Won’t that destroy life on earth?
Maggot: Your point is…?
One: Nothing. Let’s do it!
Brexit Fable 7
Imbecile: Hey, who wants to shoot themselves in the face?
52%: WE DO!
Imbecile: Great! That means you all have to, btw.
52%: Pass me the gun!
Brexit Fable 8
Fucker: Hey, if you eat this tablet I’ll plant a money tree in your garden.
Credulous bloke: Oh, OK. What’s in the tablet, btw?
Fucker: Don’t worry about it. Cyanide. Nothing much.
Credulous bloke: I like money trees. (Eats cyanide pill.)
let me be clear BrickShit means BrickShit means BrickShit means BrickShit bra-caaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww
well um I couldn’t possibly piffle and wotsit and so on and so forth and letterboxes and piles of piffle and wotsit and what-not and so on and so forth a jolly good future leader future Pimm’s o’clock and what-not Prime o’clock piffle Minister and so forth
a return to the perfectly simple arrangements made during the Troubles whereby divisions were maintained exacerbated inflamed and security forces were able to carry out their very simple duties such as exchanging gunfire suppressing riots disposing of bombs all perfectly simple and sensible
The “killer clown” craze that began in the United States has gone global, with incidents reported in the United Kingdom. The craze began in the U.S. in August with reports of people dressed as Donald Trump trying to lure children into the woods in South Carolina. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything. These are valid concerns expressed by decent and patriotic citizens from all backgrounds, all over. We also have to be honest about the fact that not everyone who seeks to join our country will be able to successfully assimilate. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything. Schools in Reading, Ohio were closed after a woman reported being attacked by someone dressed as Donald Trump who threatened the students at her school. But the complaints extend far beyond Ohio. At least 40 states have had strange clown sightings so far, and the number keeps on growing. I did try and fuck her. She was married. It’s our right, as a sovereign nation to chose immigrants that we think are the likeliest to thrive and flourish and love us. The claims are preposterous, ludicrous, and defy truth, common sense and logic. We already have substantial evidence to dispute these lies, and it will be made public in an appropriate way and at an appropriate time very soon. The craze has prompted McDonald’s to keep its iconic clown, Ronald McDonald Trump, out of sight for now. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful clowns. I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. The recent epidemic of “killer clown” sightings across the U.S. may be the best thing about 2016 — and that’s saying a lot. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. In London, reports include a clown confronting a man with a hockey stick, clowns chasing children and a knife-carrying clown on a bicycle following a woman. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything. Because we need a very powerful, very beautiful border. I moved on her like a bitch. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything. That will stop those people coming into our country.