1. It was never me operating Jack Ketch. I let someone else do it. Never saw his face. He smelt of burning oil.
2. I stole from the kids’ parents. While they watched the show, I sent my mates round to pick their pockets.
3. I gave the arresting officers nightmares. It was easy. Once they’d looked me in the eye I had them.
4. I made Punch commit his crimes.
5. On the night of the fire I hid behind the burger van and got wasted.
6. I started the fire. I started all the fires. I’m an anarchist Prometheus.
7. I am the Bird King.
8. My nanobots took down Big Ben.
9. I called myself Insom and issued mp3 tracks that put listeners into comas.
10. I wrote poems that eroded reality.
11. The Plague of Moths was my idea.
12. I force-fed Mr Punch an uncooked black pudding.
13. I hijacked the ONEIROSCOPE and turned dreams against the dreamers.
This 13 is a previously unpublished footnote to Mr Punch Dreams.
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