Dr Mountebank, health guru to the stars, has announced a radical new treatment that can cure any illness: NOTHING™.

A seven-year course of NOTHING™ is guaranteed to eradicate, diminish or make no discernible difference to the symptoms of your illness.

So, what’s the science behind NOTHING™?

NOTHING™ comes in empty bottles and, when imbibed, begins working its magic immediately. It is a naturally occurring medicine: say goodbye to lab-made chemicals and other clinically proven treatments!

Worried about adverse reactions? NOTHING™ is totally inert and inefficacious, so if you take it you will experience no side-effects, except a loss of wealth.

The statistics say it all. Seven out of five people surveyed said that NOTHING™ was a more pleasant treatment than brain surgery without anaesthetic and made them feel a warm glow inside.

To benefit from NOTHING™ simply visit Dr Mountebank’s website and click “Empty my wallet!”