In the beginning

In the beginning was MEGACROCODOG and MEGACROCODOG was with God and was God and was a lampshade with a pretty butterfly pattern and was everything conceivable except herpes and cockroaches and the long queue for a bus unlikely ever to materialise from the boundless beneficence of MEGACROCODOG’s divine mind which was the world and not the world and not to be argued with though free will was given to His creatures crawling and walking and flying and swimming in the blissful certainty of the existence of a creator they had never seen and who never wrote to them and who rarely appeared to them in dreams except as a saucy nun hitching up her habit to give a flash of her holy hole from which came the solemn edicts of the dead lying in wait of their paradise under the starry gaze of MEGACROCODOG and all His angels and badgers and watchmen and redeemed thieves and reformed perjurers and deformed dogs barking silently whenever their guardian tugged their adamantine chains in love and not wrath and blessed them with the power of speech setting the world of words in perpetual emotion. 

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