Safety at Work: a guide

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One bite of the Big Apple was enough to give him a headache. He envied his colleagues as the moon envies a grave.

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All day, every day, the expectation of a hand on the other side of the door, tensed spines ready for flight.

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Their gossip nearly did for him. In the gents, he wanked himself sore. It troubled him that the air con never worked.

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Breathe slowly through your nose. Keep your eyes closed. Don’t think about murdering your line manager. All is well.

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Judy would never punch the clock. She was a high-fiver. When she slept her muscles turned to water. Moths fanned her.

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On the other hand, there was nothing wrong with letting off a bit of steam. The bird’s throat yawned at him.

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WTF! Nothing would come of nothing. She had lips made of dolly mixtures, if you can remember what they are. Etcetera.

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