Brexit Fable 1
Mr Cthulhu: Who here wants tentacles? Much better than human limbs.
Sleepwalkers: We do! Gimme tentacles!
Mr Cthulhu eviscerates them
Sleepwalkers: WTF! Our guts are hanging out!
Mr Cthulhu: Nah, that’s tentacles.
Sleepwalkers die in agony
Brexit Fable 2
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Passenger: Paradise, mate.
Driver: This YouTube video shows that Paradise is actually Hell. Stay put?
Passenger: Just take me to Paradise.
Driver: But you’ll burn forever.
Passenger: DON’T CARE. TAKE ME TO PARADISE!
Brexit Fable 3
Mr Phuq: Let’s build a house together! I’ve got enough bricks for a wall.
The people: Yes, let’s!
Mr Phuq: I feel stifled by this house you’ve subjected me to. I’m off.
Mr Phuq removes his wall & uses the bricks to build himself a kennel.
Brexit Fable 4
The Bird King: You should stab yourself in the face with these scissors.
The Bird King: To show the “experts” who’s boss! The experts who tell you that stabbing yourself in the face with these scissors will harm you. Be a man!
Bloke: Oh, Ok then.
Brexit Fable 5
Goat Man: Yay! Let’s eat this beef. ALL OF IT!
Sheep Boy: Ok. Hang on, it looks kinda rank. Is it supposed to be green? Also, it stinks.
Goat Man: We said we’d eat it, so we’ll eat it.
Sheep Boy: OK.
They devour the rotten meat and die in agony.
Brexit Fable 6
Maggot: We must push our planet out of the sun’s orbit if we are to free ourselves of its bureaucratic, unelected tyranny!
Masses: YES! Deep Space, not Deep State!
One: Won’t that destroy life on earth?
Maggot: Your point is…?
One: Nothing. Let’s do it!
Brexit Fable 7
Imbecile: Hey, who wants to shoot themselves in the face?
52%: WE DO!
Imbecile: Great! That means you all have to, btw.
52%: Pass me the gun!
Brexit Fable 8
Fucker: Hey, if you eat this tablet I’ll plant a money tree in your garden.
Credulous bloke: Oh, OK. What’s in the tablet, btw?
Fucker: Don’t worry about it. Cyanide. Nothing much.
Credulous bloke: I like money trees. (Eats cyanide pill.)